


Sacrifice

by undernightlight



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Crying, Emotional, Episode: s03e11 Beware the Green-Eyed Monster, M/M, Poor Ed, The Riddler is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 08:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18205895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: "Love is about sacrifice."In which Edward actually does love Oswald, but knows he has to give up that chance at happiness to keep his Penguin safe fromhim.





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm sure some of you are aware of the whole fan thing of The Riddler being in love with Oswald but not Ed. And I like that idea, but I kinda wish it was the other way round, so that's what I did. I wrote this short thing, and it's not my best but I still like the general vibe,
> 
> SIDE NOTE: I haven't actually seen the episode this is based around, so forgive any plot mistakes and such; I tried.

“No!” Oswald shouted, standing from his chair. It was quick and loud and sudden, and Ed startled back ever slightly, taking in a sharp breath of air, “Ed, I will not let you leave.” He moved his mouth slightly, trying to think of the best words to say to Oswald, but nothing was forming in his head.

_“Oh wow, someone’s desperate to keep us around.”_

_His_ voice came from behind him, and Ed did his best to ignore it, but he could practically feel _his_ breath on his neck.

Oswald fumbled, limbs conveying he was also struggling to find words. “It is not in your best interest. You have to stay busy.”

_“We can stay busy just fine without him. We could stay busy...starting with him.”_

Edward tensed. He looked as Oswald in front of him, the man so clearly upset by his resignation, but Ed knew, if he managed to get the words out, things would be fine. They could continue on together, working alongside each other, business partners.

_“You know he’s only holding you back, right? Think about what we could do together if you cut his dragging weight loose.”_

He wouldn’t allow _him_ to put those kind of thought into his head, he wouldn’t, not about Oswald. His body snapped out of it, shaking _him_ from his mind as best he could, though he knew by now it was rather pointless; _he’d_ be back any moment to taunt him, to poke fun at him and his emotions.

“How can I say this, urm…” His voice came out drier than he expected it do, carrying an airiness to it that he wasn’t used to hearing from himself, but it was his voice, not _his_ at least. He could see the panic in Oswald’s eyes, waiting for something that would make sense. “We’re friends...”

_“But you want so much more, don’t you?”_

“...Aren’t we Oswald?” Ed could see the green figure out peeking out from Oswald’s smaller form. Ed refused to look at _him_ , refused to acknowledge him.

“Of course.” The emotion in his voice created a lump in the back of Ed’s throat. He composed himself, struggling to swallow around it.

_“You knew he’d say that. You still seek validation of those around you, how weak.”_

“Since the accident...and-and I-I never thought that this could happen urm…” Why was he struggling so much, this wasn’t fair, this wasn’t right. He could hear the laughter, behind him once again, so close to his ear is was almost deafening; this chuckle, deep rumbles from his throat making it hard to think. “I’ve had the desire to...become more than employer-employee.”

_“To kill you.”_

Edward’s fist clenched at his side. _He_ was a hard...thing to ignore. “More than friends.” He kept his eyes focused on Oswald as best he could, but _he_ had decided it’d be fun to continue with the taunting, getting up close behind Oswald, a maniacal smile across _his_ face. Oswald, by contract, softened, his eyes bright and wide, akin to a child, as he stumbled forward, hands grasping around Ed’s arms.

“I have been feeling the same,” the shorter man said. Ed focused on his face, keeping it blank to avoid _him_ getting any joy, but it didn’t seem to be working. “I-I didn’t want to mention it because of all the awfulness about Isabelle.”

“Isabella!”

Oswald nodded his head, eyes tight, apologetic. “But...one cannot deny love.”

He drew air into his lungs as fast as he could. Did he...Oswald say…? Despite knowing his lungs were full, nothing would leave him, this choking weight in his chest, suffocating him. His head started to hurt instantly. His arms drew up across his body.

_“Wow, you really are surprised. Can’t say I am, saw this coming a mile away.”_

With the gasp, Oswald’s hands slowly dropped. Where his hands had once been, it now felt cold, despite the layers of fabric that had prevented direct contact to begin with. “What-what is it?” Oswald asked, “What’s wrong?”

Ed opening his mouth, words stuck in his throat. “There-”

 _His_ tone was mocking. _“There’s not enough words to describe how much I love you.”_ Ed had to stop himself. He couldn’t. He couldn’t tell Oswald how he actually felt, it wasn’t safe for him. He swallowed again, his throat bobbing; it wasn’t getting any easier to breathe. He closed his eyes briefly to compose himself.

“There’s been a misunderstanding.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it felt like it. “I was going to...propose that we become partners, business partners.”

He watched as realisation hit Oswald’s face and he felt sick. He wasn’t lying when he said he just meant business partners, the idea that Oswald would ever love him never crossing his mind to be a reality, and then to hear it and know it wasn’t safe to say he loved him back...Ed felt his jaw begin to ache.

“Partners…”

_“Look what you’ve done to him.”_

“Then-”

“Excuse me.” He had to leave, he couldn’t stay there. Edward had a feeling that Oswald’s face, looking so lost and scared and wanting to take back his words, would haunt him for quite some time.

He stumbled his way outside. It was dark, cloudy and miserable. He wasn't quite sure where to go at first, walking around dazed, but his legs were tired and he kept needing to brace himself on objects he passed. Life wasn't fucking fair, Ed thought as he walked through the streets. Why could things just be easy between them? 

Despite the time and the moon in the sky, there were people still out, after all, it was Gotham. He wasn't sure how long he'd wandered before he found himself on his old block. He saw his old apartment building too. Though he hadn't lived there for a while, Oswald had been kind enough to pay off the the landlord, or so Oswald said, and allowed the apartment to be left as it was. The buzzer was still broken on the front door and his spare key was where he left it. His hand kept shaking as he tried to jam the metal into the lock, a familiar feeling. Eventually, he managed to open the door, the hinges stiff and resistive. 

Everything had been as it was when he left. Nothing was moved or missing. Ed's stomach twisted further, and he still found it hard to breath, as he stumbled his way in, falling back against the door. When he tried to push himself off it, he realised how truly weakened he felt, and he found instead his legs gave way, and he ended up in a heap on the floor. He sat back, head hitting the wood, legs out in front of him. 

_“Look at you. Unravelled so quickly.”_

Ed didn't want to hear it. He scrunched his eyes up tight, but he only heard him laughing. 

“Stop,” he begged, not knowing what else to say. His voice was weak, quite, so very emotional, and Ed knew that speaking…he started to lose the little hold of himself he had. He felt as broken as he sounded as his body began to shake ever slightly, struggling to breath again.

_“Pathetic, honestly. How he found you in anyway desirable is beyond me.”_

“Stop!” He screamed out. His hand reached out for the nearest object to him, a shoe he hadn’t worn in a long time, and launched it as best he could in the direction of _him_. But when Edward looked back up, _he_ wasn’t anywhere to be seen. He scanned around the empty room, and it was quiet. Only momentarily, as a voice came from beside him, startling him away and hitting the wall.

_“I won’t stop until you do.”_

What was just small shakes now wracked his body, cowering in the corner of his old apartment. Tears fell and he didn’t try to stop them, he knew it would be pointless. He hadn’t cries properly in a long time, but now… He pulled his legs into him, his arms wrapping round, trying to find comfort in himself but he couldn’t.

He loved Oswald, so much.

Ed had unfortunately realised after Isabella’s death that he didn’t really love her, only the memories she resparked in him. After Kristen’s...death, he never thought he could feel like that again. Then he met her, when he was never expecting it, and she was just so much like her, visually, and he didn’t even notice at first. When he noticed the striking similarity, he thought maybe he’d been given a second chance. He eventually realised he didn’t love her, not really. He loved the thought of her, he loved the memories he had with Kristen, but he didn’t love Isabella.

He loved Oswald.

But he could never tell him, Ed knew that. _He_ was a danger, a menace that Ed couldn’t get rid off no matter how hard he tried. He loved Oswald but _he_ didn’t. _He_ didn’t really like him much at all, calling Oswald a hinderance. Edward couldn’t disagree more. Oswald was his strength, what made him strive for better. _He_ knew exactly what he was thinking. 

_“To people like you and me, it will always be our greatest weakness.” He_ mocked.

“Get out of my head!”

_“It’s my head too, you know.”_

Edward didn’t have the energy so say anything back, and even if he did, he wasn’t sure it would sound any kind of convincing. He knew his voice was already shot; he could usually handle shouting and screaming just as well as any other person, but not when he was an emotional wreck like this, sobbing in the corner of an apartment he no longer lived. He was done, he was tired and the apartment was freezing and he just wanted to curl into a ball in peace. Peace was not something he was even close to achieving. 

But love was about sacrifice, he knew that, and if he had to sacrifice his chance at love, his happiness, for Oswald safety, he'd do it every time. Ed knew that it was the only way. Ed knew that he'd just have to keep to the sidelines and watch, watch but never touch, never have. 

_“You think that will stop me, your old passive tendencies. It won't, I assure you.”_

Ed doubted that was supposed to help, but somehow it did. It didn't stop him sobbing or shaking or wishing that there was a scenario that him and Oswald could let their love be, but it helped him know what he had to do. He would push Oswald away, keep him at arm's length because that was best way keep Oswald safe, even if it wasn't any kind of guarantee. Ed was struggling to breath, his lungs burning. He tried to wipe his eyes, his glasses in the way, so he pulled them off. He heard laughter and without thinking, launched his lenses across the room. It was stupid and utterly pointless, he’d realised that as soon as he felt them leave his hand, but it was too late; they were somewhere in the direction of the kitchen and he’d have to find them later.

But for that moment, and much time after, Edward sat there, pushed up in the corner, wishing desperately for _him_ to go away so he could just collapse into unconsciousness. But he was too scared of what _he_ might do if _he_ was given full control. Ed didn't fall asleep until his body was so exhausted it completely shut down.


End file.
